Rose, over at “butimbeautiful” and An “Etiquette Guide for Sluts”http://livinginfairyland.wordpress.com/2012/07/29/roses-ranch/ has hatched a plan, a fun sounding, ingenious plan, wherein we create (in our minds at least) the rules and reg.’s for our own little paradise, our’ womens’ community, where men are only admitted by invitation and at our’ behest.
My first thought, good as I am at putting the cart before the horse, is what to name this place. I thought of “Ladyville” (yawn) “Chicktown” (better flair, but still lacking) and “Empress Land” (hokey and pretentious!) and finally settled on “Goddess Gate”. Perfect, at least in my view, though Rose probably has a few ideas of her own. You see, “Goddess Gate” not only smacks of exclusivity, with “Gate” and all, but, “Goddess” puts us on a pedestal where we belong!
I never understood the women that get all huffy about being put on a pedestal. What’s up with that? Don’t we all want to be adored? Don’t we want to stand up there on that pedestal, (or a plinth, perhaps, if we wanna get all Roman and architectural [as well as archetypical] about it) looking down at those who love us and thinking how lucky we all are?
Now, I get the thing about guys who put us on a pedestal based on who they think we are, and then dash us to the ground when we don’t meet with their expectations, and I admit, I can get pretty huffy about that sort of thing. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about having men (or a man; I tend towards monogamy, all the poly type relationships make me a bit squeamish) look at who we are, see us, down to our’ essence and love us for that, both for our beauty and our’ grace, our wisdom and intelligence, AND for the darling little foolish things that pepper our beings: our flaws! The chinks in our marble, as it were. (ooh, I’m loving this metaphor, so many ways to play with it!)
So, that is rule #1
Men allowed to live in Goddess Gate must see us, understand who we are and how we behave and love us, respect us , ACCEPT us, and ADORE us for all the good and the not so awesome about us.
Now, I must say, I don’t think this is that big of a deal. It’s pretty much how most women operate, and it’s not that hard. Ain’t nobody what’s perfect, and if you’re going to reject me ’cause I’m NOT, then I’m not going to let you come and play in my playground!
Men allowed to live in Goddess Gate will NOT lie to us…except when we ask if this dress makes our ass look big.
Men, it’s pretty simple: Don’t promise us next winter if you only want tonight. Give us the opportunity to put on our big girl panties and make an informed decision about whether we want to engage with you or not. That’s only fair. Oh, sure, you’ll miss out on getting laid once in awhile, but, more often than you might guess, the woman in front of you will say “One night only special? Roll in the hay? Sure! Why not?!!” The bottom line is, don’t be a douche! And just think about all the drama you won’t have to put up with by being truthful. A woman scorned, remember!
Men allowed to live in Goddess Gate will use their pretty-pretty words.
Seduce us! Chicks dig that…well, THIS chick digs that! Call us beautiful. Entice us. Flirt with us, even after you know you’re gonna get some. Weave spells for us with your’ words till we are SO turned on that we can’t possibly let you leave the room without fucking us silly! Again, simple concept!(that being said, remember rule #2 whilst doing that seduction/pretty-pretty words thing!)
Men allowed to participate in Goddess Gate activities will recognize that the goddess in front of him is special, as is the encounter, dance, tryst, make out session, etc.
A man asked me recently “So, you wouldn’t go for casual sex?” (ladies, I’m unclear on whether he was offering or just curious, so don’t get all excited!) My response was “No, I want a relationship.” to which he responded “typical Gemini!” I’ve been thinking about this a lot since then, pondering, mulling, all of the analyzing that I, a Gemini, always do. I’ve come to a few conclusions:
At the stage of life I’m in, I’m not wont to turn down a gorgeous hunk of man just because whatever it is that we’re thinking of doing may be short lived. Why should I? Ladies,(and gents) I was celibate for fourteen years (okay, so it was really thirteen years, but I got the math wrong when I first came out of my “nun-ship”, so rather than have people who have previously read fourteen years cry out that I’m lying, I’m just gonna leave it at fourteen…for literary purposes, you understand!)
Squirrel! Or, as the above mentioned guy says, Puppies! In other words, I will get back on track and stop the silly digression:
Ladies, (and gents) I was celibate for fourteen years (yeah, I know, shut up!) I have a lot of sex to catch up on. Do I want a relationship. Sure I do! Do I expect it to happen overnight? (or after the first kiss, or first romp, or whatever? ) No! Of course not! As a matter of fact, if a guy wanted an instant relationship, I would be the one running for the hills (yeah, I know,The River Guy… but, hey, he was quite proficient at rule #3, making me think it was a matter of rule #4, when actually it was a case of ignoring rule #2…and, besides all that, I am far more naïve than a 54 year old woman has any right to be! Otherwise known as SUCKER! * sigh *)
Plus, I had no gas money to make a run for said hills…
Damn it! Did it again! Did I drink too much coffee this morning, or what?
Anyway, no, I’m not going to turn down a gorgeous hunk of man just because I think whatever we do in the pleasure arena might be short lived (calender-wise, not act-wise! Please! I am a red blooded female, after all!)) But casual sex? Hmmmmm, it’s probably semantics, but, casual sex does not sound that appealing to me. Why? Well, to me, casual sex is one step away from a one night stand. There’s nothing special about it, it’s sex for sex’s sake, and it could be with anyone….it’s mundane, it’s ordinary, and it’s nowhere near as much fun as sex with someone special.
There’s an old fashioned term I love in regards to all this: An affair! Now, to some, an affair may be analogous to casual sex, but to me it’s a whole different picnic. In my view, an affair is, by it’s very nature, special. You think he’s special, he thinks you’re special, and what you’re doing is definitely special. When you’re having an affair, love is not off the table, like it is with casual sex. But you’re not picking out china patterns or naming your’ firstborn children (like I could do that anyway, menopause and all!) You are in it for the now. You are in it for the wonderful experience with this amazing person that you really, really like. Now, affairs aren’t the easiest thing to accomplish, because you have to be scrupulously honest about your’ feelings, both to the person you’re having the affair with, AND with yourself. Feelings can grow, on one side, or the other, and even, occasionally, on both (if you’re very-very lucky), so you have to keep those lines of communication open. You also have to have the ability to recognize when it’s over and be willing to let go in love and light and walk away, all the while wishing the one you’re leaving the absolute best that life and love have to offer. The end of an affair is often bittersweet, because you’re sad that it’s over, but happy that you experienced it in the first place. You really have to be a grownup about it! Casual sex is much easier, to be sure. But, casual sex rarely makes your’ soul soar, whereas affairs do. And affairs leave you with SUCH memories! Memories you cherish of a person you cherish. There will always be a tiny, little secret spot in your’ heart reserved just for him!
Well, I certainly went off on a tangent there, and proved once again what a hopeless Romantic I am. But you knew that!
Back to Goddess Gate business. Those are the rules as the stand up to this date. (Only four, I thought there would be more, but I’m sure I’ll add to the “CCR’s’ as time goes on…)
And, in other Goddess Gate business, I would like to remind you to click on the link above and read Rose’s take on this (it is HYSTERICAL!) And I would like to nominate Sally at http://deliberatelydelicious.wordpress.com/, and Kristin at http://pifflehouse.blogspot.com to carry on in this NEW tradition and write their own version of our woman’s paradise…oh, and any other Chica who’s reading this can post their own version as well. Just be sure to link to Rose and me so we all get to join in on the fun!
(Rose and I will have to discuss whether we consider this as an award, or as a playground any woman can join, but, for now, feel free!)(and if we decide it IS an award, there are a couple of other ladies I wanna give this to as well!)
And with that, I hereby declare that this meeting of The Female Fantasy Camp, also known as “Goddess Gate”, “Rose’s Ranch” et al, officially adjourned.