I woke up this morning realizing the REASON for all the coincidences between The River Guy and The Hurting Guy: They are two sides of the same coin!

The Hurting Guy, analytical, whip smart, logical, practical, willing and able to weigh and balance, slightly on the dry side…even his humor is dry, which I, of course, love!  He also has the issue of getting “stuck” emotionally, due to all that thinking (I can certainly relate to that!)

The River Guy, on the other hand, all about passion, and the now, how things feel…plans and ideas and goals change on a whim, at a moments notice, or, often, without even that moment to prepare…hard to deal with as a partner, but never less than exciting.

The other downsides to The River Guy are that he wants things to go HIS way at all times, even when he’s vague and hazy about which way he’s heading.  He also doesn’t have much in the way of empathy when his partner is feeling hurt…though he certainly DEMANDS her empathy when he’s feeling that way!

The Hurting Guy, on the other hand?  He always has a plan, whether for long-term goals or for the day.. While he remains flexible on his short-term goals (“Naw, I don’t feel like having Sushi!”) He has to consider all sides of something before he changes long term goals.

He also is more than willing to listen when someone he cares about is feeling hurt….and he will gladly accept blame when it’s due, and apologize sincerely for whatever it is he’s done to cause pain.

The Hurting Guy is, in short, the MATURE male aspect, the Father figure, The Emperor in the Tarot Deck.

The River Guy?  The Fool, definitely The Fool!  In good aspects, as well as bad…life by the seat of ones pants! (Oh, geez, I just realized ANOTHER synchronicity between him and yet one more long lost love…I’ll be glad when the Universe decides that I’ve learned enough lessons that I can stop dating SYMBOLS and start dating brand new, here-to-for un-experienced [by me] men!

Now, The Hurting Guy, to be sure, could benefit from incorporating a bit of The River Guys exuberant spontaneity, His fiery passion (which I know he has in him, he’s a Leo, fer Chrissakes!)

And The River Guy could grow up a little (Oops!  Was that my outside font?  Yep, still mad!)

All in all, yes, two sides of the same coin…can you imagine the guy that’s the WHOLE coin?

This is a reminder too, that I need to be the whole coin in relationships as well, exuberant, passionate, in the now, and, practical, logical, and far-reaching.  In Short, The Empress and The Fool.  Yep, I can do that!


About babedarla

I've spent years as a clothing/costume designer with my own business, but a recent life change has put me on a journey of self discovery and returned me to my first love: writing!
This entry was posted in love and dating, spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Balance

  1. Sylvia McRae says:

    Your outside font…. lol.

  2. kilobrush says:

    Wow! That’s one realistic view your have here.

  3. I think exactly the same thing in relation to my guys – like ‘when can I stop learning lessons and just settle down with someone!’. I guess one picks guys because of the deficiencies in one’s own character – how come some people pick good ones then?

  4. babedarla says:

    well, some just know how to “manipulate the system”, which I wouldn’t do even if I knew how, because I think that’s a deplorable way to behave. And others are lucky enough to find a guy that wants to do the work as well…I think there’s always baggage to be worked out, is there some guy out there that knows this too? The River guy certainly didn’t and/or wasn’t willing.

    The thing is, though, there were so many karmic indicators with both of these guys, that there was no way it was going to be any less than work…

    I’ve stopped my “search” for love! I’m still open to it, still desirous of it, but I’m more than willing to let “it” find me, rather than looking under the proverbial rocks and coming across grubs and creepy crawlies (Ooh, is that a dash of morning bitterness I’m sensing in my own words? ;-D)

    • You know, me too, a bit. I still have a profile on a couple of dating sites but I’m more likely to tick the no box than the yes. Maybe it’s not so much bitterness as finally being quite happy without a man. That’s supposed to be a bad thing though – if you start viewing them as ‘icing on the cake’ and not the necessity they used to be. Apparently they don’t like that. PS happy birthday!!!

  5. babedarla says:

    Reblogged this on An Etiquette Guide for Sluts and commented:

    Oh Roooooossssse! I came across this post from going on four years ago. The post is interesting, but the really interesting things are in the comments section. Girl, we got some wisdom going on between us.
    I’ve also figured out some writing projects and stories. Cuts down tremendously on the blogging time, but life changes. Talk to you soon, lady!

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